Man Cannot Live by Meat Alone Soft Pretzels

pretzel_guinnessMan cannot live by meat alone — beer and pretzels are also essential!  These soft pretzels are unbelievably good, and dangerous when combined with beer and dipped in spicy mustard.  Your BBQ & beer buds will not believe these twists -o- wonder came from your kitchen, and you just may stun yourself.  Disclaimer: proceed with caution and be wary of addiction, lest you lose your job over your new-found obsession and spend your days making and eating soft pretzels.

Ingredients
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 package active dry yeast
1 1/2 cups warm water
4 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1/4 cup cooking oil of your choice
1 t salt

Magical Golden Brown Wonder-Dip:
2 T baking soda
2 C warm water

Directions

  • Mix sugar, 1 1/2C warm water, and yeast in bowl; allow to sit for 10 minutes or so until the yeasties begin to become fruitful and multiply.
  • Add 1 t salt, 1/4 C oil, and gradually stir in 4 C flour.  Turn out onto clean surface and knead for 8 minutes or until as sooth as your honey‘s baby’s bottom. Place in a large, oiled mixing bowl and cover with a damp paper towel and allow to rise an hour. Dough should at least double in size.
  • Preheat oven to 450°F
  • Make your Twists-O-Wonder
    • Turn out dough onto lightly floured surface and divide into twelfths.  Not a math-whiz?  I gotcha covered — it is easy when you roll a log, cut into quarters, then cut each quarter into three equal parts.
    • Roll each piece of dough into a coil working from the middle outwards.  When it gets to be about 1-foot long, set aside then do the others while it rests (yeasties and break, too man!).  Then return to the first coil, and roll out to about 18″ in length, about 3/4″ in diameter.
    • Make the magical pretzel shape by forming a U-shape with the coil, then with your partner dough-see-dough  uh… twist the left and right side of the coil and fold towards you. Voila! — pretzel shape (and you thought it was rocket-science)!
  • Baptize these babies! Prepare the Magical Golden Brown Wonder-Dip
    • (Bribe your babe to help — makes rolling out pretzels easier when you can keep your hands dry)
    • Dissolve 2 T baking soda into 2 C warm water and pour into a pie pan.
    • Baptize each pretzel in the wonder-dip, then flip to thoroughly coat.
      (Want to know how the Magical Golden Brown Wonder-Dip browns the pretzels?  I have no clue because I am not a food-chemist. A magician never reveals his secrets!)
  • Place each pretzel on a greased baking sheet and allow to rise for 12-15 minutes

Bake
Bake at 450°F for 8-10 minutes, or until golden brown, then place on cooling rack.

cinnamon-sugar-pretzel

Cinnamon-Sugar pretzels are an tasty treat, too!

Garnish
Bless these babies by brushing with melted butter and sprinkle with salt (the larger grains of kosher salt affect flavor, but table salt would do) or with cinnamon-sugar.  Bask in the praise offered up to your awesomeness.  The salted version goes great with Guinness.*

*I am not a paid spokesman for Guinness, but I wish I were.

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One Response to Man Cannot Live by Meat Alone Soft Pretzels

  1. Becky says:

    Those pretzels look amazing!! I knew that you were a fabulous BBQ’er but I did not know you knew your way around yeast bread. Impressive!!! Thanks for the great recipe!

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